Fox Spirit 82 – The World Changes
骤睹妖氛降，苍生涂炭多。
但将心底海，飞作一天河.
– 陈立强
A shock – we see the goblin cloud descend;
A myriad people blotted out in ash.
Together from this darkness we must fly
To build a galaxy of brilliant stars.
– Chen Li Qiang (2013)
September 2001
Sara
Sara woke up groggy after a weekend of frantic planning and a restless night filled with dark dreams. The bright sunshine pouring in her window was an insult to her mood. It should have been smoggy, cloudy, even raining. Instead it was a bright, clear Tuesday, the very best that Beijing in late August had to offer. The hot dusty winds off the desert had eased; a light shower had cleared the air the evening before. The oppression of the dreams had almost faded by the time Sara had washed, dressed and fed herself and Richie, wrestled the child into his shoes and bicycle helmet, and located the proposal which she had written for the Children’s Palace the night before. If she could persuade the Head at the Children’s Palace to expand the English classes, perhaps, just perhaps, the school would supply her with an apartment. She would phone for an appointment this afternoon with the Head. She enjoyed working with the children more than working at Rainbow Software anyway. Maybe everything would just work out.
Sara already felt the threat of the sun’s heat to come as she buckled Richie into his bicycle seat and trundled the bicycle out the door. Richie whimpered a little as Sara fastened the harness. “Now don’t fuss, Richie,” she told him tartly. “You’re four years old. You should be helping me with these buckles.”
Sara steered with the confidence of habit through the crowded bike lanes. She no longer flinched as messengers darted past through impossibly narrow openings, no longer hesitated to plunge forward with the mobile mass at each light, shrugged off the comments and inquiring looks as fellow bikers noticed her helmet and hair. But the sourness of the dream had delayed her. She was going to be late dropping off Richie, late to the Tuesday meeting. Just when she needed to show her best face to the world.
Sara was panting as she pedaled up to the Children’s Palace. She pushed the bicycle through the gateway and began un-harnessing Richie almost before the kickstand had descended. She lifted her head to see Teacher Wang approaching her with an anxious glance. “”I’m sorry, Teacher Wang. I’m running a little bit late today.”
Teacher Wang nodded and took Richie in her arms as Sara began to wheel the bike around for a quick exit. “I understand, Mrs. Miller. I am really sorry.”
Sara registered the response as she hurried off. That was odd, it was as if Teacher Wang were apologizing to me, not the other way around. Or had she somehow heard that I was leaving?”
She was still puzzling when she arrived at the office and wheeled her bicycle into the hallway behind the reception desk. Silver Wing greeted her with a serious face. “I’m so sorry, Sara.”
Sara stopped short. Twice in one morning was too much to ignore. “What is wrong? Why do you say you are sorry?”
“Ah, you have not heard? About the disaster in your country?”
“What disaster? No, I have heard nothing? What has happened?”
Silver Wing began to explain, but Sara could not grasp her words. Two airplanes, maybe three, maybe four, crashing into buildings in New York, or was it Washington, or outside of Washington? Many people killed. Some kind of evil plan. She shook her head; she must be hearing wrongly. “Man man shuo. I don’t understand.” It had been months since she had had to ask a speaker to slow down.
At the sound of Sara’s voice Scarlet Li emerged from the back of the office. “Sai Le, come in and see.” Scarlet led Sara to the conference room, where several of the programmers were already grouped around the television screen used for presentations and animation testing. A news program was running.
Sara could not make sense of what she saw: the plane crashing into the black . tower, the flames, the smoke, the second plane crashing minutes later, more flames, the bodies dropping, the tower collapsing, the people running, the second tower collapsing, the smoke and dust and papers floating through the air. She felt nauseous, dizzy. Then another clip showing the familiar five-sided building, ablaze and dented now like a chipped cup. And the final footage of the farmland scattered with debris, the audiotapes of last words from people who knew they were about to die. She could not take it in.
“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it.” She felt, rather than saw Storm come into the room behind her. She forgot their quarrel, his violence, and only wanted to turn, wanted to bury her face in his shoulder and weep, but she could not. She knew a Chinese woman would not allow herself to cry in public, certainly not allow herself to be comforted in public. She felt the sympathetic looks of her colleagues like knives, like an ordeal she had to endure. She wondered if any friends, or friends of friends, had been in the towers. Hadn’t Jasper been scheduled for a trip to Washington recently? Could he have been at the Pentagon? Suddenly her past life seemed very dear, and very far away.
“Sai le, so much bad news, said Scarlet Li. “Perhaps you would prefer to be at home today.”
Home? Sara thought of Mark’s chilly response to her suggestion of an early return. Then she realized that Scarlet meant only that Sara might return to her small apartment. She recoiled at the thought of being alone.
“Many thanks, Manager Li, but I’d rather stay here. If I could work in this room, with the TV on? In my rooms I have no television, no way to hear the news. I don’t promise to get a lot done.” she ended with a shaky attempt at a laugh which turned out to be close to a sob.
“It isn’t good for you to be alone in this room with bad news pouring from the television,” Scarlet said firmly. “Manager Cheng, please take Manager Miller to her cubicle. SaiLe, you can work there, and come to the conference room for updates in an hour. I’ll bring you tea.” Storm took Sara’s elbow and gently guided her from the room. The feeling of his hand steadied Sara, and by the time she reached her chair she was able to remember where she was.
Storm held Sara’s hand for a moment before he stepped back from her cubicle. “Wait here, Sara,” he said quietly. “Manager Li is right. There’s no use in your staying by the TV, seeing the same films over and over. Today there’ll be only rumor and guessing. By this evening we’ll know some truth about what has happened.,”
Sara stared blankly without speaking as Storm continued, “I’ll ask Boss Wang and Silver Wing to fetch Riqi from the Children’s Palace and keep him for the evening – we can go to meet Trueheart at the San Francisco Bar and hear the news there, all right?”
Sara nodded her thanks, and turned to the papers on her desk, her mind ten thousand miles away.
Chinese Puzzle Box 