Chinese Puzzle Box

Explorations in and about China

Archive for the month “August, 2013”

Translation: Meng Hao Ran #3: Waiting for Ding

Moon over the continental divideThis poem is difficult for me to translate into Western forms. Each ideograph is  laden with an entire lines’ worth of  meaning if translated into English, yet to expand the poem in this way would betray the simplicity and compactness of the original poem’s form.  My adaptation is in familiar iambic pentameter with a rhyme scheme no more haphazard than that of the original.

Below is the poem in simplified Chinese characters, with the pinyin transcription so you can get a sense of the original rhyme scheme .  Next is a word for word translation, with a fairly literal sense translation line by line.

Waiting for Ding
Meng Haoran

 

From western peaks the sunset fades away.

The golden gorges plunging into darkness.

The moon among the pines brings evening’s coolness;

The sounds of wind and water fill the stillness.

The woodsmen have returned, spent from their day。

The birds are settling on their misty perches.

My honored guest tonight will come and stay.

I take my qin and wait along the way.
_

夕阳度西岭    Xi1 yang2 du4 xi1 ling3
群壑 倏已暝   Qun2 he4 shu1 yi3 ming2
松月生夜凉    Song1 yue4 sheng1 ye4 liang2
风泉满情听    Feng1 quan2 man3 qing1 ting1
樵人归欲尽    Qiao2 ren2 gui1 yu4 jin4
烟鸟栖初定    Yan1 niao3 qi1 chu1 ding4
之子期宿来    Zhi1 zi3 qi1 su4 lai2
孤琴候箩径 Gu1 qin2 hou4 luo2 jing4

Sunset sun limit west range
the setting sun defines the western range of mountains

Group gully valley swiftly then dark
Then quickly all the ravines grow dark

Pine moon begin night cool
The moon among the pines brings forth the cool of the evening

Wind spring fill clear hear
the wind is full of the bubbling sounds of a spring

Woodsmen return almost exhausted
the woodgatherers return almost exhausted

Mist birds perch first stable
In the mist the birds settle on their perches

This person expect visit come
An overnight guest is expected

Alone qin wait creeping plant turning/ path
i and my qin wait on the ivy-covered path

=======

 

Translation: Meng Hao Ran #2: Thinking of Xin…

Sunrise outside Kathmandu

Thinking of Xin in South Pavilion on a Summer’s Day
Meng Haoran

The sunset glow on western peaks fast fading,

The moon from eastern pond is slowly rising.

With loosened hair, the evening cool enjoying

I lie on the veranda, plainly idling.

The lotus fragrance on the breeze is spreading,

and the clear sound of bamboo dew is dripping.

On such a night my qin I would be playing

If only there were friends who would be hearing.

I’m grateful for the thought of you, though yearning;

Through all my labored dreams one thought returning.

========

This translation is set up a little differently, with my translation into Western-style meter and rhyme first,  the simplified Chinese characters, pinyin, and word by word translation presented line by line, below . The translation is one quatrain short of a sonnet, with the last couplet claiming the only full rhyme.  Meng also uses rather strained rhyme in the original, as you can see in the pinyin below.

山光忽西落
Shan1 guang1 hu1 xi1 luo4
Mountain light/brightness suddenly/ overlook west fall/drop

池月渐东上
Chi2 yue4 jian4 dong shang
Pond moon gradually east up/rise

散发乘夕凉
san3 fa4 cheng2 xi1 liang2
Loose/ scattered hair ride/ take advantage of sunset coolness, cool

开轩卧闲敞
Kai1 xuan1 wo4 xian2 chang3
Open window/veranda lie(of animals)/ sit idle open/ uncovered

荷风送香气
He2 feng1 song4 xiang1 qi4
Lotus wind carry/deliver(as a present) fragrance, sweet smell

竹露滴清响
Zhu2 lu4 di1 qing1 xiang3
Bamboo liqueur/ dew drip/ drop clear/unmixed sound/ echo

欲取鸣琴弹
yu4 qu3 ming2 qin2 tan2
Desire/longing seek/get sound/cry of birds qin (zither) pluck/play

恨无知音赏
hen4 wu2 zhi1 yin1 shang3
Regret not have bosom friend appreciate/admire/reward

感此怀故人
Gan3 ci3 huai2 gu4 ren2
sense/be grateful/ feeling this cherish/ yearn for old friend

====

Translation: Meng Hao Ran/ Bessie Smith

Friends parting

This is an exercise in translation in many forms.First I give my own translation into Western-style traditional iambic pentameter. I have the original poem by Meng Hao Ran, translated into modern simplified Chinese. I have the translation of sounds into pinyin. I have the word-by-word translation.  And finally I give you an old Bessie Smith blues which seems to echo the same sentiments as those of Meng Hao Ran so many centuries earlier.

Parting From Wang Wei – Meng Haoran (孟浩然)

Each morning free and set for my return

Silent and alone, my lingering must end.

For fragrant grass on distant hills I yearn,

Yet cannot bear the parting from my friend.

On my long road, who will my hardship share?

In a long lifetime, bosom friends are rare.

Yet with my loneliness I must abide –

Shut my old garden, me alone inside.

=========

留别王维 Liu2 Bie2 WAng2 Wei2

寂寂竟何待 Ji4 ji4 jing4 he2 dai4
朝朝空自归 Zhao1zhao1 kong1 zi4 gui1
欲寻芳草去 Yu4xun2 fang1cao3 qu4
惜与故人违 Xi1yu3gu4ren2 wei2
当路谁相假 Dang1 lu4 shui2 xiang1 jia3
知音世所稀 Zhi1 yin1 shi4 suo3 xi1
只应守寂寞 Zhi3 ying1 shou3 ji4 mo4
还掩故园扉 Huan2 yan3 gu4 yuan2 fei1

Quiet/ lonesome finish/ complete what/which await/need/wait for
Every morning empty/free time self go back/return
Desire/longing look for/ seek/ search fragrant/virtuous grass/female go/remove
Cherish give/ together with old friend be separated
Equal/ must/ serve as/accept/ manage road/journey who one another/mutually
avail oneself of/ borrow
Bosom friend/ friend who appreciates ones talents world/ lifetime place
scarce/rare
Only respond/agree guard/observe/close to lonely/lonesome
Give back/return hide/cover for this reason/old friend/ former park/garden
door leaf

======
今天的朝, 我 开汽车, 听了收音机的广播, 传统的歌唱家,让我想 Bessie Smith,
唱了”绿的唱”. 词句是:

“Sometimes I feel so weary, traveling through life all alone;
“Sometimes I feel so weary, traveling through life all alone;
It’s a long long journey – and I can’t make it on my own

There are seven million people, just in this one town
There are seven million people, just in this one town,
Seven million strangers, friends I just have one.

我想: 啊, 孟浩然 跟Bessie Smith 一样意思.

Lost in Translation

A Chinese friend sent me the text of the re-elected President’s victory speech as published by the leading Chinese (government-approved) news agency, Xin Hua. As an exercise, I decided to try translating it back into English, referring as little as possible to the published English text. I was doing fine (political victory speeches run on pretty predictable lines) until I got to about the third paragraph, where Obama was thanking “all who participated in this election. “
My translation of the subsequent phrase came out “whether you went by yourself to the polls to vote, or voted by phone…”
“That can’t be right,” I thought. “Nowhere in this country can you vote by phone, I’m pretty sure.”
I double-checked my dictionary. I wasn’t quite sure whether “tou piao dian” should be translated “voting time” or “voting place” but “da dian hua tou de piao” was clear: “make a phone call cast ballot”. I cheated and brought up the text of Obama’s speech from the Internet. What he had actually said was “Whether you pounded the pavement or picked up the phone…”. He was talking about the volunteers who had worked on behalf of both candidates.
In the next sentence, the President continued to thank volunteers on both sides: “…whether you carried an Obama sign or a Romney sign” What had Xin Hua done with that?
Xin Hua translation: “…whether you voted for me or for Romney…” The Chinese news agency had completely failed to translate the idea of volunteers working in a political campaign. This is the leading communication channel for Chinese people – they must have good translators. Why had they gone wrong?
It was not hard to figure out. Coincidentally, at almost the same time as our Presidential elections there was also a scheduled change in leadership in China. The process works a little differently there.
You may have read about how the new leader was chosen by consensus of the outgoing leadership, and then the six additional members of the Standing Committee were selected, again by consensus, to run the country for the next ten years. The principal drama was whether this committee would be cut from nine members to seven (it was) and whether a woman would be named for the first time (nope).
After the selection by consensus, the seven new leaders were presented to the 18th Congress for election by acclamation.
No campaigning door to door. No phone banks of callers with lists of likely voters. No rallies. No parades. No town meetings. No televised debates. No see-sawing opinion polls. – so how would you translate “pounding the pavement” for a candidate ? How would you put “carrying a sign for me” into the right context? To do this properly, the translator would have had to provide footnotes about the American campaigning process that would have been as long as the speech itself.
And probably not politically correct.  Or maybe not even safe.
Maybe they didn’t have the right words. Maybe it was just easier and safer not to look for them.

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